i’m going going mad.

somethings just are out, out of your hands.

beyond reach, reach of your fingertips cause

i know the immense improbability that that it would ever happen,

love the dream, of a many PRS PRS, 

you scum! scum with a fortune, directed to a great cause, nonetheless.

an allusion to Lear, Lear, one of the greats of Shakespeare.

audible GOH – (Guest of Honours)

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO STOP IT.

—

life. sucks.

thank the heavens there’s the blues.

Psalm 121

Psalm 121

I lift up my eyes to the hills –
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip –
He who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, He who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

The LORD watches over you –
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

The LORD will keep you from all harm –
He will watch over your life;
the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forever more.

—

Waging
Warfare through
Worship.

Team YaYA 

you wondered why

it didnt work out.

alumni watching you.

lunch with the king, and the new-er boss, led to our mind boggling plans for 2010.

2010, Singapore International Band Festival.

and the kickass windensemble, with alumni. woots.

hope all comes to fruition, 2010 SIBF would be terribly fun.

shall pick up my guitar again.

okay, time to rest my flute fingers for awhile.

and pick my picks,

and create more calluses.

heh.

—

If anything, IB forced their sound somewhat too aggressively, perhaps to compensate for size? This could be cured in 10 seconds.

This by no means makes you lesser musicians than those who got GWH. The high calibre of ACS IB musicians is proven by the commendable way you kept the suicidal challenging Star Wars score afloat. Also, it takes a solid musician to hold one part independently with no support.

Personally, I’d rather be a superior musician with COP than a mediocre musician with GWH. Dr. Zechariah Goh’s is a truly special leader, as one of the few Singapore compsoers who has attained international renown.

Finally, never forget that we are ACS. Our tradition is too great to be defined by any transient & summary verdict. Today, you inspired me again with your courage and musicianship.

copper and tin.

i could very well dig a gigantic hole, much better than an ostrich, and just bury myself in it. 

the first time i ever cried at a performance, i’ve always told myself never to be disappointed in what we’ve done, but it just seemed different today.

6 years, 31 people, our ardent supporters, seniors, conductors, ex-conductors, friends, expectations, our own targets, have cumulated to this one performance. 

i tried not to believe it until the emperor hugged me.

the cliche that the higher you climb, the harder you’ll fall, smash your face and decimate every single bone in your body, is rearing its ugly head.

but at the end of it, is it not more than my inability to grasp and accept the reality of what happened?  cause i could try find a million and one excuses for myself, but will i do that?

zhanfeng said this illuminating statement: You know you can’t totally blame the judges, cuase you know you screwed up just enough.

sux worse that u can’t totally blame the judges enough cuz u screwed up just enough to blame yourself?

what the emperor said was true. we didnt trust potato enough. we needed to grow up.

then again, did a 6 year preparation for life have to end this way? 
i’m darn tired.

—

some dumbcock actually came up to me and asked whether i was disappointed.
retards like him ought to be shot.

that wonderful smile

i don’t know what i’m thinking most of the time.
but that smile,
seemed, oh, so reassuring.

perfection, enlightenment.

—
how much time do i spend daily.
give me time.

flu and mothballs

what does influenza-a and mothballs have in common?

they both stink, and i as sure as hell hate them.

—

it’s like putting your dreams in someone else’s hands, and they apparently dont give a damn shit about what happens to it.