disclaimer: this is not meant to agitate anyone who have not-so desirable results as me
—

English SL – 6
Chem SL – 6 <- WTF.
Chinese B SL – 7
Physics HL – 7
Mathematics HL – 4 <- this is basically what i want to kill myself over.
Econs HL – 6

Well, with a bonus point set of A + B = 3, of which most universities can’t give a bleeding shit over, i feel retarded [definitely in the true sense of the word]

to put things in wider perspective, the cohort scored an average of 40.4ish. and the percentage over this was around 63%

if you actually bothered to count, i scored 39.

now, that makes me roughly sitting on the 33rd percentile of my cohort. i feel as smart as a monkey using a computer.

39/45 roughly equates to 86.667 percent average, on the comparision of aggregate to total points.

needless to say, i still feel retarded.

well, 5 distinctions, including english, which i have never scored above 5 till recently, doesn’t barely make up for the completely dumbass fault in math.

chem. i am supposed to get 7.

i guess, that i’ve been pretty much ingrained to believe “40 points or you’re screwed” . and, no surprise here, i still believe it.

oh the singaporean universities tend to vehemently adhere to that too.

did i mention 39 looks like SHIT on my IB diploma?

for those of you who scored well above this stupid-smart separation, i congratulate you wholeheartedly.

now realise this:

my CCA record got screwed over by certain people. and i have a deep hatred for those who had a hand in it.

39 gets me no where locally [read the above points]

[my parents] do not have enough cash to send me overseas unlike some rich bastards

for those, who reside above the stupid-smart barrier, using this phrase “it’s okay. you will be fine”

i have two choice words for you: _ _ _ _ you.

i am not going to have a good time getting into my course, unlike you.

so piss off and let me grovel around my horribly pathetic results

—

matthew ge and priscilla made my day.

its been 1 month and 11 days.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE.
—

well, today was a pretty awesome time in service. something like monthly music drugs. and great company. love most of my team. and on that note, HAPPY NATional DAY and welcome back mr nathaniel phua! finally got to guitar with you on drums again. awesomestuff.

and in the midst of preparation for the IOCs. i honestly can’t to push myself despite the typical singaporean kiasu need to put in 12435% (this is, by far, an extremely unexaggerated estimate) of effort even for a component like IOC. but heh, it’s IB isn’t it?

“IB” would be unsurprisingly screaming in everybody’s head. cause it is in mine. it’s driving me nuts.

today would mark my 1 week countdown to my end of a 6 year journey. there’s alot i am going to miss and will continue to! i really want to catch up with the old man (i heard he’s coming! woots).

hope that all of us made the right choices. we’ll see in a few years down the road. and thanks for making me alot more hard-hearted. i needed to find my decisiveness back.

i need a break, pedals, and a tube amp (church needs one too!)

may i suggest a bogner alchemist 40W toobamp with a 2×12 cab?
http://www.citymusic.com.sg/deals.html

it sounds good, right size, has good toobs, and looks darn sexy.

—
mr rinton, mr rinton. reply my emails!

i could very well dig a gigantic hole, much better than an ostrich, and just bury myself in it. 

the first time i ever cried at a performance, i’ve always told myself never to be disappointed in what we’ve done, but it just seemed different today.

6 years, 31 people, our ardent supporters, seniors, conductors, ex-conductors, friends, expectations, our own targets, have cumulated to this one performance. 

i tried not to believe it until the emperor hugged me.

the cliche that the higher you climb, the harder you’ll fall, smash your face and decimate every single bone in your body, is rearing its ugly head.

but at the end of it, is it not more than my inability to grasp and accept the reality of what happened?  cause i could try find a million and one excuses for myself, but will i do that?

zhanfeng said this illuminating statement: You know you can’t totally blame the judges, cuase you know you screwed up just enough.

what the emperor said was true. we didnt trust potato enough. we needed to grow up.

then again, did a 6 year preparation for life have to end this way? 
i’m darn tired.

—

some dumbcock actually came up to me and asked whether i was disappointed.
retards like him ought to be shot.

besides the usual antics and questions, two things caught my attention today.

1. the repeated question – “who’s wearing ACS socks?”

2. henry liu’s address,or statement rather, to the student council nominees

delving into the first question as posed by the year 5, can such a question actually gauge a person’s integrity or character in that one instance? it seemed trivial, it spurred my thoughts on whether we select the council on their ability to speak, their misplaced arrogance, or a mere farce of a “popularity contest”.

my guess being half those people on stage with less than a proper heart running for council will get through. no prizes for guessing!.

to prove my point, ask yourself this question:
so what did we learn of the council nominees of the 4th council at the forums today?  

perhaps that they can’t sing the school anthem, or think they’ve already got one foot through the door, and the many empty promises, aliens amongst us who bleed red, blue, gold, cheesy taglines, and at the end of it all?

i dare say we learnt nothing. 

—

“leadership is lonely” H.Liu

opportunities present themselves more often than not, disguised as life’s troubles and woes

but they can sometimes give you opportunities so endearing.

back to my roots!

brooke.

bye poddy. see you soon

—

how do you harbour such emotions?
don’t you ever get sick of it?

mr connor is just about the most brilliant teacher i’ve ever met.

wonderful lesson today.

brewster – done

hendroff – almost done

satriani – cant figure this out

petrucci – i don’t even want to try

keep looking.

try as hard as you will,

and you’ll see nothing much anyway.

—

dirty dirty!

A – B – C – D 

(:

of private space.

it was oddly entertaining,

yet mildly disturbing as it was unraveling in front of me. 

—

jamming is fun.

“the naturals”

_ B C D _ Needs people to fill in the blanks,

particularly interested in vocalists/keys